The first follower..

The smile is hard to bring down. After all these posts in all these years, I finally have a "follower". Awesome stuff :). I mean its just one person, but its fantastic. Someone out there agrees with my thoughts to the point where that person likes it and wants to follow what more I have to present.

I have been writing for some years now. Most of it has made it to the blog. Some of it hasn't.

Sometimes I write for myself and sometimes I write for others to read (which rarely happens :P). But its always interesting to get some reactions.

I am averse to writing on political issues, unless I really have something to say. A perfect blog topic for me would be something that is there but no one has seen or felt it yet. Something different, something new. Its hard to find such ideas. One of the most original and "new" posts that I ever wrote was the "Madness" post. It was intensely personal and I was sure that not many a people would have thought about it the way I did. Then a friend pointed out Kahlil Gibran as having published something similar in the 1930s. And although, his thoughts were slightly different that mine, I realized that we as a race are now very old. And that every thought, emotion or idea must have had been thought off before for sure. Its something like music, very hard to be original these days.

Then some of my posts like "Mutation", "Phoenix" and "As you Wish" were written when I was going through the rocker phase. Since I could not play the guitar or the drums or the base, I found my way of being a part of the craze by penning down hard rockishly dark and painful lyrics. That the events in my life then were also agonizing only helped recreate the pain in the words. I don't feel the same anymore, but its good to have a backup ready if I ever start a band :P.

I don't feel so artistic anymore to write poems and stuff. They need pain. And life of late has been sort of comfortable. So I guess I will have to stick to blogging for now. The fact that I am on bench and have lots of time is also telling me that maybe its time to start writing again.

So, keep watching this space for more.

Why are Indians getting bashed in Australia?

 

The recent attacks on Indian students in Australia have left all of us angered and frustrated. Me, like most of the other concerned Indians, have been following the stories in the media regularly. And as the same as everyone else, I think it sucks.

 

I was never too fond of Australians. My first impression of the Australians was formed from the kind of cricket they played. And I cringed every time they swore their way out of crunch situations, watching the very agreeable Indians left without the correct words. Then came a time in cricket, when we started to respond, but we were so bad at it that it came to be seen that Indians were the ones that were rude. That wasn’t true of course; it’s just that centuries of politeness that has percolated through our very DNA has made it difficult for us to be aggressive both naturally and smartly. Yes, smartly. Even when the Australians are shouting curses or rubbing shoulders they have a certain way of doing it that makes it not very obvious. That comes mainly from practice. A country, whose citizens were originally conmen, prides itself with its tough ways, provocation being a way of life. And when we try to copy it, we won’t get it right initially for sure. And we did not. During the latest Indian tour to Australia, there were a number of Indians charged with disciplinary actions, Bhajji being the most notable of them all, with his animated "monkey
 remark. But, we Indians, we learn fast. Taking cue from those mistakes and with help from some young blood in the team, India kicked ass when the Kangaroos visited India this time. We not only beat them in cricket, we also beat them on their own game. Swearing.

 

And then the movie “Australia” provided some insights to their brutal cleansing of the aborigines. The “stolen generations”.  And an apology coming too late, but from none other than the Australian Prime Minister himself. And even though it says a lot, I don’t give it much weight age, because it’s just a movie.

 

 

Its quiet obvious, these attacks have become more prominent at a time when the world is reeling under recession and Australia is feeling the heat as well. To give them a fair argument, the people who commit these crimes, those illiterate bastards, they don't represent Australia. No one individual or a small group of individuals can account for a complete country. And I am sure there are a lot of good fellows down there who have a lot of goodwill for the Indians, and who condemn these acts as much as we do. But, somehow, it reflects the general state of mind of the country. The fact is that when under pressure, the Australian psyche is to resort to violence. And violence feeds and survives on hate. Which means that there has been an undercurrent of hate flowing all along. The hate that comes from a superiority complex which is deeply ingrained in their society has to come from a racist mindset. 

 

It’s not unexpected then to see the Australian ministry giving out statement after statement that the crimes are not racism based. As preposterous it is to hear such things, its quiet understandable where it is coming from. Not only does the government feel a need to preserve its image of a not-so-racist country (unlike most of the countries in Europe which are tainted beyond repair), but it comes from a certain escapism of reality that they are racist at heart. No one wants to accept they are racists. That’s the sting about racism. As much as people practice it, in public they run away from it. And it’s sick. It’s sick to see that while a man lies on his deathbed in a hospital, the government doesn’t even have enough balls to admit the real reason behind the attacks.

 

It has always wondered me why Indians are the most severe target of racism in most countries. I am in Europe currently and as much as it seems hidden, racism is extremely prevalent here. No, not like Australia. It’s not at all violent here. Well, not in Sweden at least. But, still it’s there. A lot. It’s in the eyes. I see it all the time. Day in and Day out. Travelling in buses and trains and on the streets and even at work sometimes. I see it all the time. And it’s not just a general sense of racism towards all foreign elements. There’s a different more severe hatred for us Indians. A more "special" hate, for us "special" Indians. I have always wondered why.

 

I have thought hard and this is what I could come up with. It maybe not entirely convincing, but it’s also completely undeniable. Number 1 reason is the fact that we have a huge well educated middle class that takes up premium jobs in their countries. Where people from China or Pakistan or Iraq work in low paying labour based jobs, we Indians get to walk and talk with the best in the country, in almost every field. Another reason that I could come up with is our culture, heritage and spirituality. Yes, it’s a two edge sword. They mock it and they still envy it. They know we are smart. And they don’t like it. It’s kind of difficult to explain, but it seems sometimes they almost hate us out of inferiority. Then, there is the looks factor. Indians, by far, are the worst looking of the homo-sapiens species on the planet. Among the non-whites, Chinese are fairer and almost always well dressed and fit. Africans are supremely fit and strong, a lot of times the centre of many a white women's fantasies. The middle easterners are all fair and well built. Same for the South Americans. That leaves us deformed, unhealthy, hairy, not so good looking Indians. With the weird noses and hair that smell of coconut oil. And I think in a lot of cases this is the main reason. I am not saying that all Indians working abroad are fat, hairy or baldy dressed. What I am saying is that most of them are. At least that’s what I find. When Russel Peters said in one of his acts, that Indians are the hairiest of the lot, both men and women, I realized he was not kidding. It was true. We are messy. And that generates a lot of dislike. But beyond this, I really don’t understand. I’ve just finished reading Shantaram, and it makes me feel like I belong to one of the better races in the world. To one of the special races in the world. It almost feels like a blessed race. But, the special hatred shown to Indians also makes it a specially cursed race. It sometimes gives me the feeling of belonging to a superhuman race. A race whose blessing is its curse. The pain and the pleasure of it always so mixed up, so together. 

 

But when you look at those defaced, beaten down, hurt Indians down under, it makes you go down under your skin and hide. It’s a curse you start thinking. They were bluffing about the blessing; it’s just a curse. Is it my fault that I worked my ass off through school and college to be able to study and work outside my country. To work in a better environment, to look for better opportunities. To have the “foreign dream”. Only to see the students are being attacked and Obama is trying to put an end to outsourcing? Where in the whole scheme of things did I do wrong, I am forced to ask. And I feel helpless and powerless and defenceless. I feel weak. A feeling that I am sure is shared by thousands of Indians down under. They must be feeling weak. Because they ARE weak.

 

Yes, coming to the point of the blog. The primary reasons Indians are getting attacked in Australia is because they are weak. Simply physically weak. Most of them are students. This means they belong to middle class families. Families, that tell their kids to put an additional hour into study rather go out and play some football. Families, for whom a good score in the Boards is more important than being fit. Result; a big chunk of highly motivated, intelligent, hardworking, ambitious but WEAK Indians, and this is the weakness is what they target now. The most basic of all forms of weaknesses. 

 

So, what’s the answer to the puzzle? What’s the solution you ask?

Well, join Puneet Babbar’s boot camp. Start gyming. Get strong. So that the next time a motherfucker messes up with you, you fight back. You fight back and you make sure you tell him that you are not too be messed with. For you are a special force. A special force called India.

 

Attack Pakistan !!!

One of the first reactions of any Indian, in wake of the recent horrific events in Mumbai. 

Kill them bastards, them Pakis we say. Sounds quiet satisfying we declaring war on Pakistan, killing lakhs of their army men. 

Then what? 

More money lost on military warfare. More of our soldiers lost. More tension between the two countries. And we go back 5 years in economic development. End result: Pile of crap. 

Exactly what the real bastards want. They are not the ones who will fight war on the tough terrain in Kashmir, they are the ones laughing along with a peg of JD in a posh duplex in Dubai. They are the D-company, the Al-Qaeda and the LeT. The big motherfuckers. It will be victory for them, if we go to war with Pakistan. 

The point is, it is difficult for us to fathom at this point, that not every man in Pakistan is a terrorist or for that matter, that the current government is completely pro-terror (they surely are inclined I must say). Hence going to war with Pakistan is basically a waste of time, money and resources. We need Pakistan at this stage. For 4 days I have been calling Manmohan Singh a lame asshole who gave a miniscule fart of a speach, addressing the nation, that did not even inspire our house-maid Rama, and who should stick to framing economic policies because when it comes down to security, he runs off to 10 Janpath even if a mosquito threatens his own house, is better off serving langar at a Bangla Saheb. I, after getting cooled down a bit, now feel he was about to take a very important step, when the astonishingly foolish Pranab Mukjherjee (I am afraid I am now completely biased towards Bengalis making the most foolish of political mistakes and Mr. Mukherjee has only strengthened my belief) made a sweeping statement about the involvement of the state of Pakistan and we lost a golden chance of having the ISI chief come over and getting a substantial cooperative stand from Pakistan. Once again, the Indian government does not have a focused agenda on how to deal with this, and once again it has failed to show a unified face in the time of tragedy. For this, Manmohan and Sonia are to be blamed for not keeping up a unified UPA profile. And Congress will suffer for it. I, along with more than a crore of Delhiites voted for change yesterday. Touch reaction?! Not really. Being a Delhiite, my frustration with the UPA does not last 4 days, but it began with the Delhi blasts, when they showed complete lack of accountability and did not take any steps to ensure that such attacks are not repeated in the future. 

Ever since the attacks began all over the country, I have believed that besides the fact that we have totally incapable state police units, and backless state governments who lack political will, the real problem is our intelligence. The  NSA. I was saddened when a few years back Narayan was made the chief of NSA. His incompetence was known then, and it was against a strong opposition from a majority of the intelligence organizations, that he was given the top intel job in the country. I was circumspect. And my fears slowly realized, as one city after another got hit with terrorists bombings. Each a shameless feather in the cap of intel failures over the year. My frustration reached peak levels, when a couple of weeks back Manmohan Singh, at the HT leadership Summit spoke of how slow and ineffective our intelligence was. And BAM!  a week later you have 'Mumbai'. Mr. PM, why the fuck did you eat your butter chicken and go home and sleep. Why did you not do anything about it. After all, this is our last line of defence. There cannot be one policeman for every citizen in the country. They can only act on the information provided to them by the security agencies. But then, I don't think that we were totally uninformed, the involvement of the locals cannot be denied, but that's another topic.

Now coming back to the original talk, why do we need the ISI chief or even the cooperation of Pakistan. After all, they are the nation of bastards who have been wrecking havoc in our nation's history ever since Independence. Well, because of the simple fact that even Pakistan, like us, is comprised of both terrorists and civilians. The only difference being, the religious radicalism has ensured that the ratio between the two is much higher in Pakistan than in India. 

I had the opportunity of listening to the one incidence of a Mumbai terrorist calling on India TV a couple of days back, and I am convinced that the terrorists hailed primarily from PoK (or were at least trained there).  That today, is I believe, the biggest source of terrorism against India. Most number of training camps, highest amount of money being pumped in, and a large population poisoned against India. To the extent that its so gravitational, all the radicals need to do is to give them a gentle push, and they fall towards total, illogical insanity, like what we saw in Mumbai. 

And in order to control that source of poison, it needs to be eliminated. Simply put, my solution for this problem is to re-occupy PoK, eradicate all training camps and declare it a militarized zone. 

That will not only give Pakistan some understanding of what we are capable of, it will send a strong message to our other dominating neighbours (read China), that we are no more a soft state. 

Now, you can either do this, by talking rough with Pakistan, and alleging the state was involved. Or you can seek cooperation, make Pakistan an ally and help them help us counter-attack the menace that is ISI (which is now completely beyond Pakistan's control itself). 

But the way things are, we have manged to piss off Pakistan, and this will lead to a full fledged war, with the Paki soldiers fighting as if to save their mother land, instead of fighting a war against terror. 

Reactions:

My first political blog and astounding reverberations in reality.

Blog originally posted: 11:41PM

M K Narayan resigns:  01:15 PM

Manmohan Singh takes over Finance Portfolio : 4:30 PM

Only so much

As the day begins..
i am overwhelemed
by the darkness of all nights
since when i know time

and i fight to redeem
the pain of my karma
pinching me deep
the wounds that have been
burnt over and over again
only hurt so more..

but i try to overcome
the shame of eternity
and bring my head up
and put my back into

and overcome i do
my cumulative fear of all yesterdays
and i return
as an equal
as a today
walking along time itself
for a moment i am
one with thee

hungry for more
i'm quick to negotiate
a peice of tomorrow
another promise
paid in today


but
there's only so much good i can do
for again
it's time to consume

every now and then
i need to consume


it goes fast
instant nirvana a routine
and it leaves behind
a familiar emptiness

the same question
the same answer
that i cease to understand
or agree

and i feel like an animal
slave to my urges
with fits of manlike ecstasies
served with delusions of control

and i return to instincts
my default state
a stranger in the world of man
a stranger to myself

and there's only so much good i can do
for every now and then
i need to consume

the way it is these days
i feel tired all the time
most after a good nights sleep

donno where im going
or where ive been
but still i work hard
to be someone who i dont know

miss my friends from the past
moreso since they werent the best
these days i just
pick the ones i need

miss being in love..
or knowing what it is
something pure inside of me
dissolves everyday

times running fast
and too slow sometimes
but im never in step
never in line

listenin to a few good songs
thinking they talk abt me
and then hate em for that
for tying me to themselves

i wonder wats its like in bliss
or hows it is doing the right thing
over and over again
cos i struggle
even doing the wrong things wrong

i wonder if im lonely
or just part of everyone around me
but im pretty sure
there is no me
there is no me

As you wish..



Walk slow!
Or run fast..
Don wanna run?
So rot If you wish to..


Feel sad!
Or happy..
Nothing makes you happy?
So feel numb If you wish to..


Choose death!
Or live..
Too lame for that?
So hold the pain if you wish to..


Destroy!
Or create..
Too lazy?
So consume if you wish to..


Break friends!
Or make new..
Been hurt too many times?
Be alone if you wish to..


Be promiscuous!
Or find a soul mate..
Don’t have no love?
So be a whore if you wish to..


Take it hard on yourself!
Or ease off..
Don’t want to be an extremist?
So be a Libran if you wish to..


Go deep!
Or rise higher..
Waste of energy?
So float if you wish to..


Be betrayed!
Or trust..
Be a fool?
Give another chance if you wish to..


Manipulate!
Or be sincere..
Wanna have some fun?
Do both if you wish to..


Appreciate!
Or scream..
Not satisfied?
So shut up if you wish to..


Be nasty!
Or nice..
Can’t be nice?
So fake it if you wish to..


Have faith in yourself!
Or in him..
Can't do any of that?
So be a Woman if you wish to..


Give up!
Or fight on..
Don’t give a fuck?
So don't live, just breathe onnnn.. if you wish to..



Every single nano second of your present is as per your what you have wished in the past..
Every single nano second of your future will be as per what you wish right now..


And I'm afraid.. and I don't want to wish no more!!!

Kingdom Phoenix

Finally I know it
I know where I wanna go ..
It wasn't easy gettin started..
But now I am worthy too

Kingdom Phoenix is the place to go
Don't know the way
Gotta walk every day
Till I fall away..

The fall is what I wait for
That is my destiny
But that would mean the end..
So only half of it

I see the people around me
And I look at the age of being
Every one's got just one way to go
Higher higher.. and through the ceiling ..

I don't like the Sky
And it ain't the limit
All the fun's beneath..
Where the shadows are alive

Some real good souls here
Prey to the devil inside
It's half the creation of God
With overdue attention and lack of pride

There's no rush in reverse traffic
I intend to walk the mile
See the underworld with a prism upside down
Touch Bottom rock while my Devil smile

And when the house is burned out
Consumed with flames of anger and pain
And when the ashes of sorrow fly with fire worms
The Phoenix shall rise ... the devil vain

So pure, so true and with no fear
It will rise higher than the seven skies
Towards the end of darkness..
To a place called light.